May 23rd, 2019

It hovered just above freezing last night. Maybe that is a sign of spring. When I stop to consider, it seems as though I will never again feel the sun on my bare arms. It’s as though the moment has always been winter. Summer is so distant a memory, I … Continue Reading May 23rd, 2019

Dating: 18.03.19

Two days to the equinox. I can count it in hours now. As though it’s important. I ran under a blue sky this morning and could see the moss-covered tree trunks, the rings in the water. The dog ran faster than usual, and is now sleeping on the couch in … Continue Reading Dating: 18.03.19

March 12, 2019

I was reading an article that rebuked people for their “buffet Buddhism”. Which was interesting in light of the fact that the Dalai Lama himself recommends the buffet approach for Westerners. The article consistently and exclusively referred to Buddhism as a religion. It linked Buddhism with the belief in a … Continue Reading March 12, 2019

March 11, 2019

Over the past 8 years, I’ve become an early riser. Last summer a friend of mine playfully scolded me for my early bedtime. She said I was missing out on the beauty of the sunsets. Wasting the time. She sits on her balcony near the ocean and watches the sun … Continue Reading March 11, 2019

March 9th, 2019

Sunday rant on a Saturday: I am on my browser, using my home wifi. I am patiently sitting through an ad that precedes the trailer for a film coming to the cinema next week. This is normal. I’m paying to watch an ad to watch an ad for a product … Continue Reading March 9th, 2019

March 6th, 2019

Dear DLD, Yeah, so I’m going to do it: “I had this weird dream”. A stressful dream anchored in S.’s story at the dinner party last night – about the electric scooter with the warning label that it was not recommended for people over 50. I bought one. And I … Continue Reading March 6th, 2019

March 4th, 2019

Dear HXH. Playing with form again. Perhaps not the most productive way for me to work these days, but an old habit. Handwriting on unlined paper. Numbers and scratches for iambs and spondees. Illegible corrections. I pulled a book off the shelf. What made me think of you? I keep … Continue Reading March 4th, 2019

March 1, 2019

I am not a creature constructed for journal-writing. Is it odd that I am just now discovering this? I need to talk to someone. Living or dead. Part of me is concerned that this means I am defined by others. After all, we use one voice speaking to one person, … Continue Reading March 1, 2019

February 6th, 2019

I keep seeing myself in the center of the lake. On a still day, and everywhere is blue and quiet – except for where I am waving my arms about, thrashing my legs against imagined, deep threats complaining about the turbulent water. This is my morning meditation as my mind … Continue Reading February 6th, 2019

January 26th, 2019

How the days bump into each other in these dark months. I experience a touch of concern each morning when I try to grasp the day of the week, the day’s plans. Is this normal? The asphalt safe when it glitters under the street lamps. And unpredictable when it is … Continue Reading January 26th, 2019

January 21st, 2019

Maybe the moon and the stars want to take us by surprise. It’s that simple. I broke my own rules this morning to read the news headlines, and to learn what the scientists can predict. Posted at ten thirty p.m.: Tomorrow morning will bring the chance of a lifetime. So … Continue Reading January 21st, 2019

January 15th, 2019

Finally a thin blanket of snow to brighten the morning. I run with metal coils strapped under my shoes, and a slight tension in my gut: the bridges can be icy under the powder, and the dog can dart suddenly between the trees. Everything is new again for him. For … Continue Reading January 15th, 2019

January 12, 2019

The new year is always predictable with its forced variations on the routine: the end-of-term rush of student evaluations, early meetings and final rehearsals. Piecing together a devised production is like designing a quilt using everyone’s talents. It’s a joy and a privilege, and a sometimes-overwhelming responsibility that keeps me … Continue Reading January 12, 2019

January 5th, 2019

Returning to work is always difficult after a stretch of quiet. It’s like surfacing suddenly in the white water of a familiar river. And often there are moments of doubt – of confused orientation – of not recognizing the mechanisms of my own limbs. It takes so much effort to … Continue Reading January 5th, 2019