And just touching this place this morning. Easing in.
It’s been nearly three months of quiet. Leonard has often lain here in the library, on his rug. I would think sometimes it was a gentle coaxing. But this time away from it all has been good for me.
A couple of times over the past years my doctor has asked me to consider taking time away in the hospital – to really get away from all the self-induced pressures and reset. From one perspective, I was offended she thought I was so very ill. From another, it seemed like a rich (wo)man’s self-indulgence and that made me terribly uncomfortable.
As it is I am privileged with a long summer vacation. And this year, quite unintentionally, I didn’t use it to write a book or improve myself in any way. I slept for eight weeks. Three-hour naps, early to bed, late to rise. Mindless television and exercise. All body, no mind. I shoved the guilt from my thoughts. I grieved. I properly grieved so many things.
Then I got up and cleaned house – every sock, every paperclip in place.
I am ready now for whatever is next.